verdandi
@meangrape I don't just lose my keys! I can misplace ANYTHING. ANYTHING! I'm an equal-opportunity spaz.
| verdandi and so i'm eating noodles for breakfast,since I poured the wrong container into boiling water before i put my glasses on. #@meangrape moment |
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| verdandi I'm a *giant* moron. it's not the dreaded athlete's foot, just the mother of all bug bites. nature's cute little way of flipping me off. |
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| verdandi "Get yer Middle East conflict now!It keeps going & going & going...batteries not included." "It's unending,like my supply of beanie babies." |
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| verdandi I have a temporary officemate due to renovation (i.e. shit falling down). She informs me that she's a talker. Well, I'm a biter, so shut up. |
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| verdandi And with summer, the sidewalk rage returns: "♫ people, if you don't walk faster i'm gonna fucking STEP ON YOU. that's life. adapt.♫" |
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| verdandi My doctor apparently doesn't think women are supposed to have a libido. Interesting. Soooo I'll be trading her out for a younger model soon. |
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| verdandi Oh, is anyone sitting in *this* seat? Only the lord. |
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| verdandi select people who know [person you're friending]? facebook no longer trusts us to label our own friends. YAY! SPOONFEED ME A SOCIAL NETWORK! |
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| verdandi A SPIDER A SPIDER A SPIDER LEX IT HAS MORE LEGS THAN ARE APPROPRIATE FOR THE OCCASION MAKE IT STOP |
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| verdandi There is no reason to be up at 4 am unless you're a wild party child or a criminal mastermind. Sent from your iPhone. |
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| verdandi Lex, looking around the gourmet deli: "I want to eat more of this store." |
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| verdandi "Come back & see me again soon,very soon," L's dad says mischievously, "before I have new wife & childs." This is funnier to him than to L. |
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| verdandi @EffingBoring As a larva, I called it the Alien Wristwatch & told people I used it to communicate with the mothership. Just, y'know, fyi. |
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| verdandi Lex's dad eyed us in disapproval. "Back in the forest, we ate the whole green bean," he said, & popped the whole edamame pod into his mouth. |
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| verdandi Official verdict: @effingboring & @phylhrmnix are awesome, Lex still has ADD, grates are MAGNETS for kitten heels, & a bird pooped on me. |
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| verdandi What is the name for the phenomenon of Never Being Able to Find the Damn Metrocard Until the Train Leaves? Because shit, son. |
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| verdandi I *could* always keep my cell in the same pocket of my bag so I could find it when it rings. But I wouldn't have a very exciting purse life. |
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| verdandi Busy extrapolating sandwiches to life. |
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| verdandi "My business partner is delaying our call so he can catch a rickshaw." |
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