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Took the bandages off. You know how your finger is all clammy and wrinkly when you remove a band-aid...
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Oh my god, my vagina smells awful today. Its been 3 months now, so I wonder if I can change the bandages?
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Best co-worker comment so far today: "A huge sperm bath orgy sounds par for a planet called Chaos."
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Miguel is a master of this vibrator. He sent me a text of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious". Was squirming like I'd been electrocuted.
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Just found some hacked firmware for my bluetooth vibrator that allows it to operate outside of US safety limits. (http://rubyurl.com/OppY)
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Vagina has settled down nicely. Without the swelling, it no longer resembles a Cornish pastie.
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Overheard Paco telling a friend something about me and the Cleveland Steamers. Must have surprise tickets to a ball game!
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Not sure why I decided to keep my balls in a jar. Nostalgia? Paco said they look like a strange, fleshy snow globe.
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Had *that* dream again last night where I try out the candidates. I could take McCain and Obama, but the sight of Hilary strapping on...
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Back home and trying not to pick at the scabs on my new, itchy growler.
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Looking at my uncovered vagina. Swollen shut, it looks like a broken volcano, with rivulets of dried up magma. More painkillers please!
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Bangkok: Night or morning? Woke up and I now have a vagina. Its still under wraps, but starting to throb. Not sure if its pain or the "need"
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its Wednesday night treat time! Off to go get the zucchini out of the freezer.
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Decided I'm going to have fun with him, while he's here. Just bought a book, Penile Topiary: Hair Today Gone Tomorrow, and bonsai scissors.
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2008 looks set to be my final year with a penis. I almost feel sorry for him now, as hate turns to bitter-sweet nostalgia.
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Caberet Strip Bar: Welcome to the Jungle... Imagining a stripper gyrating around a pole with a monstrously unkempt growler.
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Unsolicited flatulence is a dreadful habit. Has the art of 'deadening' one's output all but disappeared?
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Slow afternoon. Even the hobos outside are particularly lethargic today.
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I can only handle so much head before the music explodes.
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Some deaths can be played to songs.
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