topherchris
You know you're a true dog person when you'd love to own any of the serious contestants in the World's Ugliest Dog competition.
| topherchris @jkottke *c*u*n*t* |
|
| topherchris @unclesean Funny, he told me he needed rolling paper. Lack of paper is definitely an issue overall here. It's cosmic. |
|
| topherchris @unclesean Right? I thought someecards.com would have something. |
|
| topherchris I just realized I never properly thanked the dude who offered me weed this morning on the way to the minimart. Do they make ecards for that? |
|
| topherchris Episode 13 of my podcast is by far the most recent ever. http://internetenthusiastda... |
|
| topherchris @saima I feel you, sis. And boy am I slow. |
|
| topherchris My downtime is officially greater than Twitter's. Wait, are jokes like that passe now? |
|
| topherchris Setting up a cron job to tweet "got up, went to work, went home" every day for the next 50 years. |
|
| topherchris I'm not doing anything, but my medulla oblongata is regulating my breathing and blood pressure and is damn happy about it. |
|
| topherchris I love when somebody else's mom emails my Gmail thinking I'm their son. "Listen ma, I need to tell you... I'm gay and in love with dad." |
|
| topherchris @bush I'm seriously considering ordering an air-strike against Twitter HQ. |
|
| topherchris @bush Laura is totally busting my balls about something right now. Tuning her out. |
|
| topherchris Know why Oracle is the powerhouse of all databases? The error messages. I just got "DEFINE NOT DONE BEFORE FETCH YOU FUCKING RETARD." |
|
| topherchris Lizards are the coolest. They're like little dinosaurs and they're so awesome. Also, I can't talk about them without sounding like I'm 12. |
|
| topherchris Will no one have sex with Bill Clinton? He's clearly jonesing, all that pent up-stress, and it's bad for the Democratic Party. Ladies? |
|
| topherchris My garbage disposal has a huge crush on @MarsPhoenix. It's probably going to start Twittering now. |
|
| topherchris @MarsPhoenix is currently scraping a giant "Fuck you Twitter" on the surface of Mars and taking really shitty photos on purpose. |
|
| topherchris THIS JUST IN. Phoenix Mars Lander @MarsPhoenix has become self-aware and is pissed off about Twitter downtime. |
|
| topherchris I just checked to see if obamaporn.com is available. It's not. Thank you God. |
|