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Idea! Someone needs to invent a waffle iron that also irons clothes. You could look good while enjoying a tasty breakfast. 4:10 PM Nov 7th from web |
From my friend Slash: I understood that when Obama won, we'd all receive magic ponies. This is a very disappointing start. 10:59 AM Nov 5th from web |
Enough with all this Obama/McCain nonsense. It's time we put a real man in the White House: Lee Majors. 3:57 PM Nov 4th from web |
Tomorrow's headline prediction, regardless: President-Elect Celebrates Victory With Well-Earned Smirkfest 3:25 PM Nov 4th from web |
I'm still waiting for someone to prove to me that leeks are anything more than freakishly large green onions. 8:58 AM Oct 31st from web |
Look, buddy, we're all proud of our achievements. But displaying
more than four bowling trophies at once is too showy. 9:43 PM Oct 30th from web |
The silver lining behind being on Tylenol and Motrin 24/7: I haven't bought cotton balls in nearly a decade. 3:09 PM Oct 29th from web |
Just got a call: "Mr. Kobriger, this is Zogby. We'd like to ask you a few questions." Zogby? Is that one of Palin's kids? 12:58 PM Oct 29th from web |
Anyone know who the Rastafarians are running this year? Ol' Mitch is still undecided. 11:08 AM Oct 29th from web |
You can keep your iPod; just give me my View-Master and a bottle of Cuervo. 9:05 AM Oct 29th from web |
Obama would have had this thing in the bag ages ago if he had consulted *my* barber. 8:14 AM Oct 29th from web |
Mitch has decided to begin tweeting again -- and after I said that the first time at age 17, I never thought I'd have to say it again. 8:01 AM Oct 29th from web |
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It's a damn shame Jimmy Durante never got to play an action hero. 11:39 AM May 9th from web |
If I was planning on getting one of those little yappy dogs, I'd definitely want one with hair. 3:37 PM May 8th from web |
I say let Mr. Hasselhoff drink his fill. The man's earned it. 2:47 PM May 8th from web |
I'd really admire ants if they weren't so damned tiny. 5:39 PM May 6th from web |
I like my women like I like my albacore: flaky and moist. 3:59 PM May 6th from web |
Trust me: You can save a lot of money buying your asbestos in bulk. 1:38 PM May 6th from web |