lonelysandwich
Independence from foreign oil. There. Fuck off.
| lonelysandwich Some flavors just don't go well together. Like cottage cheese. |
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| lonelysandwich I just choked so hard on my latte name it went from two syllables to nine and the barrista flashed me look that said "yes, very amusing." |
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| lonelysandwich Are new Chuck Taylors supposed to smell like duct tape? Follow-up question: is duct tape supposed to smell like dog food? |
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| lonelysandwich I've never so badly wanted to throw an electronic thing out the window. Good luck, kids. |
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| lonelysandwich The XO laptop I ordered 8 months ago finally arrived. Writing this took 12 minutes. Now to overclock it and make it into a media center. |
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| lonelysandwich I was crafting my response to @Remiel when I discovered iPhone would prefer I pronounce it "who're" like Paulie Walnuts. |
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| lonelysandwich Thank you for trying, but the correct response is: a broadcaster. Oh, fictional misogynistic deceased grandpa, you're incorrigible! |
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| lonelysandwich I thought of a joke: What does my fictional misogynistic grandpa call a female podcaster (because he's old and doesn't know any better)? |
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| lonelysandwich @FarkerPeaceboy raises an interesting point on pronouncing @Remiel. Some rhyme it with 'schlemiel', I rhyme it with 'Benny Hill'. You? |
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| lonelysandwich Is there an Iron Chef for condiments? Because I would NOT be good on it, but I would play hard and my signature dish would be mustard. |
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| lonelysandwich If I were to work from home, I think I'd hire an intern just to keep my sanity. I couldn't pay you, but oh, think of the laughs we'd share. |
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| lonelysandwich @SeoulBrother Yes, I'll meet @Moltz in the ring. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday at the Tacoma Exxon Hi-C Boob-punch Auditorium! |
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| lonelysandwich @Moltz I think that's what's referred to as a 'hatefave'. Alternately, a 'donkeyfave'. |
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| lonelysandwich (To steal a trope from @phylhrmnix), The next thing I say will be my Theory: @SeoulBrother has a Twitter and on it, he is amazing. |
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| lonelysandwich @Moltz And I know what all those words mean because I spent an hour looking them up. (FAVE ME!) |
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| lonelysandwich Today, I'm coining a retronymous neologistic portmanteau for people who use Twitter to beg for Favorites. And the word is: Twattle. |
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| lonelysandwich Now more than ever, the world could use a moratorium on 'now more than ever'. |
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| lonelysandwich Watching @Mike_FTW and @Moltz trade successive gay jokes is like watching Lady and the Tramp chew opposite ends of one noodle. |
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| lonelysandwich @youngamerican and I spent our entire lunch arguing over whether to call it Lunch Friends or Lunch Lads. Nobody wins that game. |
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