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Fargo will be re-released next month.
as a documentary about the fall of the Big 3.
Special DVD commentary by the wood chipper. |
@scottsimpson I'll bring your observation to the attention of management in our next conference call.
For now, you know what to do. |
Zigged When I Should Have Zagged
#6wordepitaph |
The recession will make Christmas awesome.
My daughter will grow to love her Xmas-sweet 16-college grad-wedding combo pack.
Of Dentyne Ice. |
Bad news: did some "sleep-showering" this morning.
Good news: eating Noxzema is strongly hallucinogenic.
You can't have my gum, sexy Jesus. |
@mileskahn Just how I like 'em.
Dry and gay. |
"Don't worry about dying while working here.
If you're applying,
your life is ALREADY OVER"
#newwalmartslogan |
@Moltz Fuck you. That is the last time I get suckered into looking at naked Bea Arthur. Santa hat, or not.
LAST TIME. |
My posthumus biography shall be titled anon
"The Reckless Pursuit of More". |
@McShowoff Use the hate in your heart, and WRITE. |
Scientists have created a synthetic motor oil from animal fat.
One step closer to my heart being able to run on bacon grease. |
@mileskahn Don't eat any cheese Hodgman may offer you. |
Connecticut Unemployment Department is now busy and understaffed. Wonder where they'll find help? Maybe right in front of them? In line? |
Strangely positioned body fat, pale skin and receding hairline?
Not just getting old,
but also turning into a Beluga whale. |
Happy Birthday to @jonathancoulton, @ShuffShuff, @FarkerPeaceboy and @tet3 !!! |
I changed into a secret pair of "poo shoes"
before going into the stall,
lest my true identity be discovered
after what I did in there. |
Maybe the "I Don't Like Mondays" girl who shot the kids
cut her nipple on a cabinet door?
'Cuz I just did & I'll kill the shit out of a kid. |
Sarah Silverman is 38 today.
Continuing the tradition,
I must masturbate 38 times today.
I should say 28 MORE times today. |
I am going to objectify the shit out of some turkey.
There may even be gravy bukkake. |
@Remiel In my hometown, we call that LOVE.
REMIEL LOVES POWERPOINT!!! |
