StephenColbert
Remember kids! In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant.
| StephenColbert Isn’t an agnostic just an atheist without balls? |
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| StephenColbert There's nothing wrong with stretching the Truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious. |
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| StephenColbert Like any good newsman, I believe that if you're not scared, I'm not doing my job. |
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| StephenColbert Hey, America, are you thinking what I'm thinking? You soon will be. |
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| StephenColbert When life gets you down don't get mad, get Stephen |
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| StephenColbert How many roads must a man walk down before he is run over by an eighteen-wheeler of truth? |
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| StephenColbert The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun. |
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| StephenColbert Viewers of this show unite! You have nothing to lose but the facts. |
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| StephenColbert The world is a dirty place, and I am America's lemon-scented wetnap. |
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| StephenColbert Is that Truth in my pocket, or am I just happy to see you? |
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| StephenColbert Guess what: The E in E-Mail...stands for 'E-Mail'. |
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| StephenColbert A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y? Consonant or vowel? Make up your mind, we're at war. |
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| StephenColbert Librarians are hiding something. |
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| StephenColbert Giving a fly glasses is like giving a bear nunchucks. |
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| StephenColbert Who's buried in Grants Tomb? Give up? I hope the police have too. |
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| StephenColbert Nation, it's time to grab the bull by the horns. If there are no horns --you're grabbing a cow, STOP IT! |
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| StephenColbert February, if you had any balls you'd be three days longer. |
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| StephenColbert BEFRIEND ME! Soon we will defeat Darth Vader! |
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| StephenColbert I now have more followers than Condi! |
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