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EffingBoring
I'm so angry, I could blog.
about 1 hour ago
from web
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jimray
Nothing like being woken up by your phone alarm telling you it's your day off
05:52 AM September 05, 2008
from Hahlo
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strutting
@lonelysandwich I might go with some kind of rainbow unicorn by Lisa Frank.
03:28 PM September 02, 2008
from twitterrific
in reply to lonelysandwich
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echuckles
went for a run with my cell in my sports bra. now my phone's busted. upset and a bit proud. i've never broken ANYTHING with my boobs before!
12:54 PM September 02, 2008
from web
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Remiel
Nervous about speaking to a large group of people? Try imagining them all naked. Just don't tell their teacher what you're doing.
10:20 AM September 02, 2008
from web
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Moltz
As Rudy Giuliani has been dropped as RNC keynote speaker, I'd like to deliver his message to you. Ahem. ... "9/11." ... Thank you.
07:28 AM September 02, 2008
from web
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strutting
Aw, this hottie is wearing all white. Labor Day was yesterday, hottie. Ain't no one told you?
06:58 AM September 02, 2008
from twitterrific
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verdandi
"I want a poster of me so creepy that people have to put a curtain over it."
06:25 AM September 02, 2008
from txt
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nostrich
What do you mean I'm not a creative thinker? I have a Mac, a blog, and a subscription to Wired. Of course I'm a creative thinker!
06:09 AM September 01, 2008
from twitterrific
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ckwinny
Wearing an age-inappropriate hairstyle.
07:51 PM August 31, 2008
from web
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tj
Iron Man toys at (tomato-picker exploiting) Burger King.
WALL•E toys at Walmart.
Summer blockbusters come with toys and a side of irony.
...
09:50 AM August 31, 2008
from twitterrific
in reply to vmarinelli
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scottsimpson
I'm happy to "go black." It's the "never going back" that scares me. Do we have enough qualified African-American presidents en route?
09:20 AM August 31, 2008
from twitterrific
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awryone
Is it too much to ask that ultrasound photos come with American flag backgrounds?
Perhaps the fetus sitting on Elmo's lap?
It's 2008, right?
01:42 PM August 30, 2008
from web
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pagecrusher
If Ainsley's vagina smelled like laundry, I'd never do her.
01:40 PM August 30, 2008
from txt
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Remiel
Palin's got it rough. She has to show Democrats that she's a Hillary, Republicans that she's no Dan Quayle, and John McCain her tits.
11:29 AM August 29, 2008
from web
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Moltz
All this waiting to find out who to make fun of is just killing me.
07:39 AM August 29, 2008
from web
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fimoculous
You can't go back in time and correct the mistakes you made in high school. But you can start a Tumblr and make the same mistakes again.
07:00 AM August 29, 2008
from web
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nostrich
Oh get off your high horse, it's not like I singled you out. I gave *everyone* crabs.
05:47 AM August 29, 2008
from twitterrific
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smartasshat
I like my women like I like my battery backups: Reliable, many inputs, and makes a lot of noise when the lights go out.
11:37 AM August 28, 2008
from web
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textism
I’d like to think that in the Twitter movie I’d be played by Steve Coogan, but I accept it’ll probably be Chris Parnell.
10:26 AM August 28, 2008
from twitterrific
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