ShuffShuff
@tiagocandiani *That's* the kind of popularity-boosting gems I'm looking for! Now, how much food coloring can I ingest before it's toxic?
| ShuffShuff Fuck. All the kids at my new school are cooler than me. ...So thanks in advance for letting me steal all your jokes! |
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| ShuffShuff Hey, remember "Praise You," that Fatboy Slim song? Remember it's video? Quality stuff, man. |
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| ShuffShuff "Well how many--er, m-bizzles?" "Megabytes?" "Uh, yeah, that." "I am SO twittering this." "What? Ok, now you're just fucking with me." |
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| ShuffShuff Do you know they're selling Wall-E stuff at Walmart? Uh... did you guys see the movie? |
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| ShuffShuff An old woman flashed me at the food pantry. I was expected to remain sympathetic as her story continued. Life's odd, but old people? Oddest. |
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| ShuffShuff Just kidding. No one ever said that to me. But damn, if someone did? Yeah, I'd be in his pants. |
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| ShuffShuff "Baby, when times get rough, remember: I'll always be there for you, just in time. Much like the (aptly-shaped) _big, long rod_ in Tetris." |
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| ShuffShuff Jeez, the Internet is being more lazy than even me today. |
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| ShuffShuff This bass-player in Rockband always reminds me of @hotdogsladies. I dunno. Maybe the glasses? http://bit.ly/merlinrockinout |
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| ShuffShuff Thought everyone knew this, but apparently not, so I'll reiterate: The way to a girl's heart is not a hack into her Internet history. K? |
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| ShuffShuff On weather maps, the pink bits are the best bits. Until your house gets destroyed. (...Or you run out of cows to test the wind currents.) |
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| ShuffShuff I'm upset that you guys are so fond of your poop/dick/hobovag jokes. Because, you see, *boob jokes* are my specialty. |
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| ShuffShuff Gerunds + sex. It really wasn't *that* difficult for _The History Boys_ to become my new favorite movie. |
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| ShuffShuff Fun Fact: After particularly excruciating xc races, guys get erections and girls pee their pants. Cross-Country: The Glamour Sport. |
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| ShuffShuff She wants a girl's night. I'm feeling too PMS. I sure hope excess estrogen levels don't cause cancer. |
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| ShuffShuff Also, you comedians are so generous, I bet you'd initiate loads of welfare programs. Because even hobos deserve the right to a gynecologist. |
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| ShuffShuff And then the constitution for the new republic will be comprised entirely of poop jokes! |
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| ShuffShuff When the economy collapses, lets use favrds as currency! All the awesome people will be the richest people! |
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| ShuffShuff Those "I brake for moose" stickers crack me up. As if avoiding a collision with a massive, thousand-pound animal is quirky. |
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