Mike_FTW
@Moltz Yeah, we have a whole room for that stuff. It's lined with old pickle jars filled with tears. Hey, lemme give you access to the wiki!
| Mike_FTW @Moltz Why do you hate women? |
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| Mike_FTW The boy just climbed in, curled up and fell asleep next to me. (There's no punch line coming. Let's end today on a high note, shall we?) |
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| Mike_FTW Remember when we all twittered about lunch, what we're wearing, and passed little notes to each other? Well, I just buried a dead hooker. |
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| Mike_FTW Just got off the phone with my mom who informed me she had yet to send me my birthday present. MAIL SOCKS ZERO! |
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| Mike_FTW Family reunions!! FOR THE KIN!! |
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| Mike_FTW That time your Catholic girlfriend complained she wanted to save it? Yeah, that was EPIC TAIL. |
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| Mike_FTW Scroll down to the second screenshot and behold my awesome might and power: http://tinyurl.com/5okv4m |
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| Mike_FTW Wait. People are having sex with Madonna again?!? Guess she's getting a lot of press from being on the "Things Older Than John McCain" site. |
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| Mike_FTW Let this sink in for a while: Estelle Getty was YOUNGER than John McCain. Let's review: Estelle Getty YOUNGER than John McCain. We clear? |
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| Mike_FTW It's seriously worth clicking through to see my new Twitter background image. Seriously. I think it killed @awryone. |
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| Mike_FTW Accidentally booked a trip to San Diego during Comic-Con. On the plus side; it's a very slimming time to be in San Diego. |
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| Mike_FTW Dear @hotdogsladies, Please don't mention me in your tweets as I do not want to show up dead exactly 24 hours later! YOU'RE SCARING US, MAN! |
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| Mike_FTW See? If *I* had told you that Estelle Getty had died you wouldn't have believed me. UNRELATED: I LOVE to babysit. Call me. |
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| Mike_FTW It just dawned on me that I'm still drunk from last night.And by 'dawned' I mean that I just threw up on a client's dog. Wait... not on, IN. |
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| Mike_FTW RIP Heather Armstrong |
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| Mike_FTW @awryone It's gotta be the shirt. Cause I just looked at the photo you sent of you wearing it and I didn't get an erection either. |
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| Mike_FTW Woke up to find the girlfriend using MY laptop to fave @hotdogsladies twitters. Not in MY house! |
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| Mike_FTW Got so hammered last night I ended up at a Blogher party. The MobileMe team could learn a lot about syncing at these things. |
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| Mike_FTW dd @dollarshort Yes, I'm at the blogher wiccan retreat and i would love to come by for booze and snacks and knitting. DOWN WITH MEN!!! |
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