ATTN_CITIZENS
STAND BY FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.
| IF PRESSED FOR TIME, WE RECOMMEND JUST HANDING OVER THE WRITTEN NOTE, POINTING OUT THE OFFENSIVE PORTIONS AND SAYING, "I DON'T MEAN THAT." |
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| WE SUGGEST THAT ALL CITIZENS WRITE DOWN WHAT THEY ATTEMPT TO IMPART TO OTHERS SO THAT THEY MAY REVIEW IT FOR POSSIBLE OFFENSES. |
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| THIS MEANS YOU, CITIZEN #50422965. YOUR POOR UPBRINGING AND GENERAL LACK OF INTELLIGENCE IS NO EXCUSE. |
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| ANY CITIZENS CAUGHT COMMUNICATING IN SUCH A MANNER WILL BE SUBJECT TO PUBLIC HUMILIATION. |
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| CITIZENS ARE DISCOURAGED FROM COMMUNICATING WITH ONE ANOTHER USING OBSCENE LANGUAGE OR AD HOMINEM CHARACTER ATTACKS. |
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| IT IS NOW TIME FOR INFORMATION ON APPROPRIATE COMMUNICATION. |
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| STAND BY FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS. |
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| HOWEVER, CURRENT REGULATIONS DO NOT PERMIT YOU TO PAY YOUR ANNUAL TAX TO THE STATE IN COPPER COINS DUE TO NATIONAL SHIPPING COSTS. |
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| WHY NOT PAY FOR A MEAL OUT WITH SMALL COPPER COINS? YOUR SERVER MAY BE AMUSED AND IT WILL BE AN EXCELLENT CONVERSATION PIECE WITH YOUR DATE. |
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| WE SUGGEST THAT ALL CITIZENS FIND OTHER WAYS TO KEEP SMALL COINS CIRCULATING. |
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| IF YOU ARE DISCOVERED TO BE MELTING COINS DOWN FOR THEIR CONSTITUENT PARTS, YOU TOO WILL BE MELTED DOWN FOR YOUR CONSTITUENT PARTS. |
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| AS ALWAYS MELTING DOWN OUR CURRENCY FOR THE PRECIOUS METALS CONTAINED WITHIN IS STRICTLY ILLEGAL. |
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| SOME HAVE OBSERVED THAT THEY ARE SO RICH THAT THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH OUR SMALLEST CURRENCY COMPRISED OF A SMALL COPPER COIN. |
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| CITIZENS MAY HAVE NOTICED SPENDING MANY MORE CREDITS ON GOODS AND SERVICES THAN THEY WERE A DECADE AGO. THIS IS A SIGN THAT YOU ARE RICHER. |
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| THERE IS NO TRUTH TO THE RUMORS AND LIES ABOUT THE FAILURE OF OUR CURRENCY. OUR CURRENCY REMAINS STRONG. |
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| IT IS NOW TIME FOR LESSONS ON OUR ECONOMY. |
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| STAND BY FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS. |
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| WE ARE STILL ANALYZING THIS SURPRISING RESULT. |
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| WHEN CITIZENS REPORT SHOWERING TOGETHER, THERE ALSO APPEARS TO BE A SLIGHT INCREASE IN PROCREATION AS WELL. |
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